your room smells of hookers.
And success
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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