Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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