If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
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