Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
