Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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