If i come over, it means nothing
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
