I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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