We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
