I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize