Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I could make wine with my vomit
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I want a musical about memes.
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