me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
