i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Success! We fucked roommates!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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