the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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