there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize