I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
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All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
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It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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