Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
She said her name was "party"
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize