vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
then he tried to convert me to islam
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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