Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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