Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Everything about him screamed your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize