is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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