another moral hangover. fuck.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Be still, my beating vagina.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
