you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
they need to just BURY HIM!
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
