Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I will be naked everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize