I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
