so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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