Your face is a jimmy john
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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