Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
