sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
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i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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