After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
