Got a toothbrush?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
