You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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