I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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