You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.