There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
