Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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