Don't make out with my wife yet
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
