I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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