i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
