He disabled his match.com account in front of me
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
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I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
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Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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