Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
