He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
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she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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