You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
