before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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