literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Randomize
