if you like me you must not know who I am
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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