Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
