I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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