We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
