I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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