Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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