You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
