Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
it's like iHOP with fire
i came on her dog
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
