her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
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I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
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hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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