I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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