If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
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