well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize