Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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