an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
