I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Text me some of your sweat
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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