dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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